I’ve tried to start this blog entry at least a dozen times over the last month or so… have started a couple of paragraphs, gotten overly emotional, and abruptly closed my browser and walked away.
I’ve always prided myself that when I started losing weight I’d never gain any of it back. “I’m all about losing weight and never finding it again”, I’d joke to clients. Everything we do is about maintainable fat loss, no short cuts just healthy lifestyle changes to ensure none of the weight comes back.
Three and a half months ago I switched jobs and became a fitness manager, so on top of being a personal trainer I’m also now managing a team of trainers. Things got busy, life got a little crazy, and suddenly I was slacking on my workouts and slacking on my meal prep. What was the consequence?
I’ve put on about 10lbs.
Almost a pant size. I’ve been avoiding my jeans because I don’t know how comfortable they’ll be right now.
Today is actually my birthday, and usually that’s a time of reflecting over the past few years and how things have changed. Every year for the past 4 years it’s been a celebration of success… pride in all I’ve accomplished. I can honestly say I’m incredibly proud of my career success over the past year, and I’m significantly stronger than I’ve ever been… but this time last year I was 10lbs lighter than I am now… and that’s been extremely hard for me to come to terms with.
Is anyone to blame but me? Of course not, I take full responsibility. This is something I had to publically admit because it’s eating me up inside, and I know I can drop that 10lbs but I need to be honest with each of you that sometimes even people who feel the strongest can take steps back. I just spent a bunch of time going back through photos from my blog and I know I look heavier and that makes me unhappy. But there is no use complaining about something that’s within my capacity to change.
I’m not proud of where I’m at, and I can give a million excuses including a career change, a vacation, an ankle injury, minor surgery, pulling my back… but at the end of the day I made choices that took me further from my goals not closer, and it’s time for me to smarten up.
Two months from now I will be 10lbs lighter, a little over a lb a week to ensure safe and maintainable fat loss in the right way without crash dieting. Can I do it? Of course. Is it going to be a struggle? You bet. But it’s time to smarten up and get back on track. The time in now, no more excuses.
I’m sorry to any of you followers who may feel this post let you down a little, or lost a little bit of faith in the strength I seem to portray. Newsflash… I’m human and I make mistakes. Being strong isn’t about how long you can go before you break, it’s about how you put the pieces back together after you’ve been broken.
I’m going to go lift something, then prep some food and look towards tomorrow being one step closer to where I need to be.